“When you get married you never have sex again. It’s true! It’s one of the secrets that no body tells you.” Sally from When Harry met Sally.
Get a group of women together who start to talk about their relationships and their sex life, and I guarantee you’ll get a ‘Sex and the City’ style of conversation.
Women always talk and act like they like sex and want a lot of it.
A woman will say “I’m not that keen on him going down on me” and other women in a ten-mile radius will see this as the perfect opportunity to one-up her and proclaim to the entire world how much they love sex and how much they just can’t get enough of him “going down on me”.
However when it comes to long-term relationships, mysteriously, the sex part disappears, even though the claim that they love it remains. It must be enormously confusing for their partners is they hear their women during this conversation.
You will often hear women say “I need a lot of sex”, however when it comes to their day, sex is very low on the list and occurs more as a job they have to do for their mate.
Now there is no doubt that a lot of this has to do with their partners not being that great in bed. I can understand people not wanting to have sex if it means they have to put out and get so little back . However, as we have seen before on this blog, I do think there is a requirement on the part of a woman to be responsible for making it happen if it isn’t. Seduce the guy a little more and get him to do what you like if bed is not that hot.
Still, however, it is a mystery as to why women will still say they love sex and can’t get enough of it if it isn’t happening and if they don’t actually like what they do get.
In romance novels this is never an issue because every hero that she ends up with is the hottest guy she’s ever had and makes her totally scream in bed.
“This story is full of surprises and family secrets that will leave you wanting more.”
Well said. WordPress suggested you blog based on mine today on the subject that women have all the tools to dress for sex, but men don’t — and maybe they have all the slutty dresses and the pushup bras and sexy makeup because they need a costume to separate themselves from the sexy creature they know they need to be to get a man…
If you have a moment, take a peek at my blog from yesterday on the topic “Ladies: Take care of your penis” where I compare a woman’s responsibility to her man’s penis to her responsibility to a puppy…
http://gooddump.wordpress.com/2010/05/11/ladies-take-care-of-your-penis/
Hey excellent!
I’m headed there now!
Thanks thanks so much for the blogging tips.
It’s funny – I just watched that film “It’s complicated” with Bill Baldwin and Merryl Streep and came up with 42 blog posts from one film! You might find it useful too!
Thanks again for your comments – always welcome here.
Barbra
It’s no mystery, really. From an evolutionary perspective, females don’t *have* to enjoy sex, merely (occasionally) tolerate it so they can get pregnant and continue the species. Evolution isn’t fair and doesn’t give a damn about our well being; it’s a blind, aimless process that just happens because it can. Though mankind as a whole got screwed, women got an especially raw deal by being burdened with pregnancy, childbirth, and the bulk of the childrearing process. Also nature made them physically weaker and less assertive than men, and gave them (vastly) inferior sex drives.
That’s the bad news.
The good news is that we can fix these ‘natural’ flaws with science & technology, and (eventually) achieve true gender equality. Contraceptives can free women from the curse of pregnancy and menstruation, and soon there will be (safe) drugs and therapies that boost the female libido. In time, artificial wombs, genetic engineering, and other advanced technologies will finish what birth control started, and wipe out all negative gender differences.
As for the question why women pretend to like sex when they really don’t, that’s a simple matter of social conditioning. In Western society, women are expected to look and act sexy, and to fake sexual desire (and orgasms). Most of them play along either due to blind conformism, or to secure mates, gain financial security, social status etc. Once they have achieved their goals (marriage, or at least a long term relationship with a suitable mate), they’ll get lazy, drop their sexy, playful facade, and become bitter, frigid nags. They may think they’re clever for fooling and manipulating men, but ultimately the joke’s on them. The irony is that if women were more like men’s fantasies, i.e. genuinely hot, wild & sexy, they’d be a lot happier. It’s just no fun being a frustrated, bitter, frigid nag. So, all you feminists out there, stop blaming ‘the patriarchy’ for what is essentially a biological problem, and start advocating and supporting technological solutions.
thats true