Archive for May 1st, 2009

Because men think if they lie enough it will eventually become the truth

Lie Detector

Men have a very complicated relationship with honesty.

For a start, it has many layers. There is the ‘white lie’ (the lie you run your life by), the lie you know is wrong but you think you can get away with ( the lie you run your life by) and the lie that will take you to jail – that you still try to get away with.

Mostly, this is because maintaining the facade of masculinity is so difficult. Most of the defining criteria of what it takes to be a ‘man’ is at its best beyond the reach of any real human being, or at its worst a cover up for laziness, so men have a very tough time having to keep the balance between being a ‘man’ and being a fully functioning human being.

The best way to achive this, is to lie. But remember, these are all ‘white lies’.

Because every man knows that so many people do get away with their lies, he is constantly tempted to persevere with this practise. Men will tell their lover they didn’t cheat on her, no matter how many times he actually did – even if she caught him in the act – over and over till she starts to doubt her own eyes rather than evidence. A man will lie to the government very happily because he doesn’t want to be the idiot doing the right thing when everyone else (read other men) are all getting away with ‘it’. Men will lie to the police about the place they were, the time they were there and any knowledge of what took place, and if the police continue to question and mount overwhelming evidence, the men will simply stop talking so that they have no testimony.

They live in a world where everything is fabricated, so one more lie won’t matter, won’t be noticed and won’t affect them. In the end, the lies become truth, in that the man telling them can’t tell anymore that they are falsehoods. As with most aspects of how he defines himself, he’s come to believe his own mythology. But have pity. It’s very difficult for a mere human to live up to the notion of what it is to be male, so one resorts to distortions in the absence of any other possibility.

In romance novels, the men are ususally not ‘human’, not from this time period, or sociatal missfits. In this way, the writers can create ‘real men’ and deal with the facts, which is no man can actually be a ‘real man’ – and this is why intelligent women flock to them.


Because women love Self Help books


When talking to any woman about something going on in your life, you risk being given advice that has been distilled through her own filter. This filter is made up of her day, her beliefs, her opinions, her fears, but most of all it is constructed out of a superficial understanding of whatever self help book she is reading at the moment.

Every time a woman reads another self help book, the world reveals itself to her as it ‘really is’ and her life is transformed forever.

Every self help book will affect her like this, so it is not unusual for a woman to go through six profound life alterations in a year. Three of them will be around her spiritual ‘progress’ and three of them will be around health and well being (diet).

The one thing they all have in common is that she will never be the same again after reading them.

Second hand book shops are filled with these books because when a woman is done with her transformation and on to the next one, she will toss the original book into the second hand bins in the same way a snake sheds its skin, never to be read again. Her transformation is complete and she is ready for the next one.

As mentioned previously, Oprah is the best source for the next book that must be read. Women gather around her as if she were the spiritual / weight loss guru searching for the next rung up the ladder, ready to embrace whatever thrilling transformation comes next.

Of course, that these massive changes never actually manifest in their lives is irrelevant to the endless searching for the next ‘tools’. This is because what the woman really wants from them is to ‘coach’ others – Oprah like – on their ‘journey’ and be the guru for a while. After all, she’s learnt these lessons; it took her a long time and a lot of ‘study.’

In romance novels a woman reading these endless books is seen to be restless, unhappy or most of all she needs to do a little more with her brain. She’d be better building a business, creating art, or curing cancer than reading these books. These issues are addressed, in partnership with a loving supportive man, and the last book is read and popped in the rubbish for safe keeping.

Buy Barbra’s book by clicking the pic. Aren’t you just a little curious…?

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