Archive for May 5th, 2009

Because men can’t pee sitting down

Toilet isolated

Men can go to the toilet sitting down. What they can’t actually do is go properly standing up.

The seat up / seat down thing has been going on between men and women for years. As is the case with most of these artificial distinctions between men and women, men have claimed that standing up to pee is superior to sitting down because…. well…. because that is what they do.

In fact, if the reason for using a toilet is so that we keep hygiene standards high, standing up is dramatically inferior to sitting down. Pee ends up – inevitably we are told – on the toilet seat, on the floor around the toilet and in suspicious places on the clothing. This never happens to the people sitting down.

You’d think with a hose, they’d have better control – not worse.

However, this is another of those illogical ways that men recognise themselves as men. By doing something that both sexes can do (yes, women can do it too – they just don’t like the spillage) but that they pretend only they can do, we all get to focus on difference. In other words, men think peeing upright at the bowl stops them from being women. And because they have to create artificial difference, they are right.

In romance novels, if men insist on going standing up, they care about not leaving the drips everywhere. They understand that anyone, male or female, coming in behind them doesn’t want to walk through their urine, so they are careful to keep it in the bowl. This simple effort makes the men seem like mirages of masculinity to women.

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Because women shop instead of think

Shopping  woman smiling. Isolated over white background.

 

Because women shop instead of think

It’s true. As soon as a woman is confronted with a challenge, she goes shopping.

Actually, even when a woman is not confronted at all, she goes shopping.

Women think they ‘deserve’ to shop and to get nice things for themselves or nice thing purchased for them. Ask them what they did specifically to earn these gifts and they will say “for being me” or “for being there”. These very nonspecific answers provide two important functions. It means a woman can shop at any time anywhere no excuse needed, and it also means every woman can do this.

Amazingly, sometimes a woman will just go shopping because she ‘feels like spending money’. As if this were a mood or a phase in the day one goes through. Money is not actually a factor in a woman shopping. She will find a way to shop even if she has no money.  She will use credit or she will spend the rent money. Nothing can come between her and the opportunity to throw her money away.

Traditionally women have been called ‘money hungry’ or ‘money oriented’ but this is a very misleading phrase. Women hate money, and try to get rid of it as soon as it hits their wallets.  They ill even tell you that the money is burning a hole in their pocket, so severe is the drive and their desire to get to the nearest shop and just buy something.

It rarely matters what they buy.

In romance novels, a creation by women for women, the females all go shopping all the time, but people don’t caught out by the debt. This is a wonderful little visit into the perfect dream world for a woman, and so they will dip into this world as often as possible.


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