Archive for May 6th, 2009

Because men are searching for their mothers

Executive riding child's tricycle

Men never get over being children.  

From the second they begin to enter puberty, they spend the rest of their lives acting like children. The pinnacle of this search is they are looking for their mother.

They are particularly looking for their mother in the women they date or marry. When a woman does not clean up after them, cook their dinners and tell them they have the flu when they have a cold, they will assume she doesn’t love them. They will go into intense emotional free fall, expecting the woman is supposed to fill the gap left by his mother.

Men don’t want to take responsibility for anything that their mothers used to do for them, from washing their own clothes through to going to the doctor. It never occurs to them that her job is completed. They simply look for a replacement mother when their real one doesn’t do it anymore.

This also extends to bring deeply hurt if a woman has something in her life that is more important than the care of him. Because he thinks she is his mother, he doesn’t understand how she can be so heartless as to focus on her career, or the children he has had with her. For men, the dream world of eternal childhood can’t be shattered by any facts like his mother getting on with his life, his wife or girlfriend wanting to get on with her life, or his grey hair. He is still a child, and he still needs his mother.

In romance novels, the men want the affection and warmth that a woman brings, but they don’t expect her to act like a mother with him. They will be offended if she thinks he can’t go to the doctor himself when he is sick, or get his own breakfast in the morning.


Because women overanalyse everything

woman in pain

Women read too much into everything. This comes from doing nothing productive with your brain, but even the busiest woman will still take time to indulge in a mental orgy of analysis over certain situations, on some occasions.

And please don’t think this is just about their relationships with their man. Every single relationship will be over analysed by a woman, especially if it has gone badly.

It is not unusual to find a woman, speaking in a corner of a cafe with her friend in a fevered passion, about something that someone did to her years ago. The friend will show the patience of a saint, because she is expecting her friend to show the same patience when she sits and overanalyse her situation in her turn.

Partially this is because women think they are so intuitive, and they like to look ‘below the surface’ on what might be ‘going wrong’ with the person who wronged them. They like to move to the next rung in their spiritual ladder by thinking about the possible motivations, over and over again of the person who wronged them. They will talk and talk and overanalyse until they feel better about the entire situation. However this won’t last long. It will be no time at all, and they will feel very bad again, and need to go over and over the same story till they can feel better.

Only time will put an end to the introspection over that one particular anecdote. They will most certainly never talk their way into the solution, unless of course they see a professional therapist.

In romance novels, the ‘talk’ does cure. Things are resolved with conversation. Friends have brilliant insights, and lovers attentive ears. Women find that each problem is solved with the first round of analysis and they have no need for indulgences in anymore.

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