Archive for June, 2009

Because women won’t play games during sex

Pink handcuffs

The harder they are the bigger they fill

When it comes to sex, women have even less imagination than men, and that is ereally saying something.

Like men, women tend to get their clues from how sex should be from porn, however unlike men, porn has nothing to do with female pleasure. It’s no wonder women keeping thinking that sex is unpleasant.

Of course this is true in the early days, but in the early days she is trying to impress you. You remember how it used to be right? When touching the back of her knee produced sounds that made you think she was having an orgasm (because let’s face it, how else can you tell if she’s having an orgasm). So what went wrong? Why does the sex get so dull?

Women tend to be very inhibited in bed, and because they take their cues from porn, they think that lying back with their legs spread and doing nothing but moaning and occasionally swearing brings not one, but many orgasms. When (not if – WHEN) this fails, women tend to be at a loss about what to do about the whole business.

So it just gets too hard – or not hard enough as the case may be.

This is when women need to be brave, and try new things. Experiment with their own sexuality and get excited about some more aggressive roles they could play. Rare is the man indeed who wouldn’t’ want to be a part of some sort of pleasure game that his wife thinks up.

IN romance novels couples play games in every way you can imagine all the time; particularly in erotic romance novels. Women are not having orgasms from receiving a penis in their mouth till they’re sick – it takes a little more than that. Women love to see the exciting ideas and games that couples come up with, and maybe, if you let them read their erotic romance, they may come up with a game or two for your bedroom.

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Because men hate divorce

karierresprung

The best trick the devil ever pulled, was getting the world to believe he doesn’t exist – Keyser Soze

Men hate divorce, and this should come as no surprise seeing as they invented marriage and marriage was made for their comfort.

What is astounding, though, is that up until very recently, men actually did nothing to help maintain their marriages. It was simply felt that if you had signed the paper that you were obliged to stay. In other words, the work stopped once they had tricked the woman into being married.

And of course, as we have seen in earlier posts, they did have to trick women into getting married. Mostly by convincing women it was their idea.

Logic would tell you, that if you want your marriage to last, you make it pleasant to stay in it. This is the most basic of assumptions about animal behaviour.

If that is the case, why do so few men work hard on their marriage? Why do so many women have to put up with no help around the house, men who humiliate them in public by openly flirting with other women – and then telling their spouse they are petty and mean for getting upset – goading and badgering the children and insisting the entire house conform to his moods and other crazy self destructive acts that defy logic.

When men complain about their wives leaving them, they are rarely interested in self examination.

In romance novels men feel extremely lucky to be married. They know marriage is a thing that they want so badly, and they cherish it when it is there. They don’t want a divorce, but what makes them so different is that they will actually go to great lengths to make sure it doesn’t happen.

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Because women will only do something nice for someone else if they get acknowledged for it

tired housewife cleaning the dishes

It’s better to receive than give a dam

Women like to do nice things for people. There is no doubt about it. However, what they do not like, is to have the good deed go unnoticed.

In fact, women will do anything, from deep dramatic sighs as they are doing the helpful task all the way through to flat out telling you and demanding a ‘thankyou’, a ‘good job’ or some sort of acknowledgement when it is complete.

Women will do this, and they will complain at great length when a man does the same thing. If he announces he will do the washing up tonight, she rolls her eyes and makes a rude comment about him needing to make a song and dance. Truth is, every man who does make a song and dance about the great lengths he’s gone to in order to complete a favour, has learnt the technique from a woman.

There is a saying that goes ‘no good deed goes unpunished.’ What we don’t realise is that the person performing the good deed is also allowed to inflict punishment on all those around them. Women simply do not want to do things without being seen. So all the others in the household must be tortured with the constant badgering to have them notice the good deed she has performed.

This is why when you come home at the end of the day your wife / mother, has to tell you all the things she did for you that day. I made a dentist appointment for you, I got the library books you wanted, I returned the books you don’t need, I’ve made dinner, I’ve done the washing, I was here when you got home…. and so on.

In romance novels women don’t need to relate every little good deed they performed in the day because they feel safe and loved for who they are, and because they perform good deeds out of generosity, not out of increasing a secret point scoring system that seems to be going on, or getting into heaven. Women do good things, because they’re good people. And that’s the end of that story.

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Because men fall in love at the drop of a hat

attractive young man giving a love gift

You’re only as old as the woman you feel. – Groucho Marx

The stereotype is that women fall in love.

However, the reverse is true. Women will COMIT at the dop of  a hat, but they usually havn’t completely given themselves – which men find out along the way.

They find this out, long after they have given themselves 100%.

Men will take any emotion they are having in their day, and convert it to lust. The secretary has big tits – they want to marry her. They have no money and the rumour is the girl in accounting does have money and knows what to do with it – they want to marry her. They started a band last night in the garage and a friend of a friend at work knows someone who works at Sony – they want to marry her.

In fact any woman who is going to rescue them, is fall-in-love material.

Not only will a man fall in love with the woman who rescues him from whatever he is feeling at any given time, but he wants to MARRY her. He wants complete and utter ownership. Men don’t just get silly little crushes and move on. They are there for complete possession.

The truth of the matter is, men are extremely easy to marry – if you catch them at the right time. Remember, after all, marriage was invented by men, for men, so it makes perfect sense that every many wants it.

In romance novels every man wants marriage, though they don’t fall in love at the drop of a hat. Usually they are men who have rejected many women prior to meeting the heroine who they DO fall for at the drop of a hat. Their falling is a rarefied experience that they weren’t expecting at all.

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Because women won’t date nice guys

Rider on a chopper

Deception can be appealing

We’ve seen before that women leap into marriage before they’re ready and often to the wrong man just to avoid being single and branded as a ‘failure’ in their life’s ‘true purpose.’

Another thing women do that defies all common sense is they go for the ‘bad boy.’

Men complain that women don’t go for nice guys, and the main reason they think this is because its true. Women have dressed up the bad boy image to such an extent that they can’t help but fall hopelessly as soon as he enters the room.

But what is really going on here?

If they’re in a bar, and there is a large muscle bound man with a dark shock of unruly hair falling into his yes trying to avoid a real fight with a guy that’s goading him, they’ll fall for him right away. Or if they’re sitting with their girlfriends and he walks up and lets her know that she’s driving him wild and he wants her, she may fall for it.

However, if they start a relationship, and they’ve been together for a while, does she still want him donning the tight black t shirt and dipping down to the pub for a while? I don’t think so.

Women are attracted to the bad boys for one reason and one reason only; because they want THIEIR beauty to be the thing that tames him. They want him SMITTEN. The attraction to a bad boy is all about her charm turning him into a good boy. Women want to tame the bad boy, not have him be bad forever.

The sweet guy, the one that is holding back in order to be respectful has already been tamed. There will be no road to Damascus conversion there.

Women need to get over this control desire if they are to actually find mates that are compatible and have similar long term wishes as they do, if they want a long term relationship.

In romance novels almost every hero, without exception is an untamed bad guy. Every hero without exception is totally smitten by the unique desirability of his mate, and every hero without accepted changes his life’s desire from being a rebel to making his new cherished wife happy. He’s a bad boy no more.

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Because men think women don’t date nice guys

Baker

No more Mr nice guy!

Men think women don’t date nice men.

You will hear them say this over and over – it is always the nice guys who say it – and they will say it in a social situation with a lot of women around, as if they were going to change the world and the way women think – one by one.

When a man says women don’t date nice guys, it usually means one of two things.

It means he’s tried it as a tactic and it didn’t get him laid.

He went out of a date, and he didn’t try to touch her tits in the car. He booked the restaurant and walked her to it. He held his tongue when the idiot waitress did that stupid thing. He listened to her long boring story about the trouble she has with her mother. He gave her a couple of hours of excellent advice, for free, that she’d pay a fortune for if she went to a therapist. He drove her home. And she didn’t even kiss him or invite him up to her apartment. In other words, being nice didn’t get him any better than screaming ‘show us your tits’ did that night in the bar with his mates. He knows where he’d rather be.

The other of the two things a man means when he says women don’t date nice guys, is that he’s a nice guy, and no supermodels want to date him.

 He’s not interested in the cute plump waitress that’s giving him the eye. He’s not keen on the sweet little temp at work who offered him her candy bar with a smile. No, he’s angry that he can’t get the eye of the airline stewardess who lives in his building when she comes home between shifts.

What they actually mean is ULTRA HOT women aren’t going for him even though he’s nice.

Of course they do, it’s just that being nice doesn’t allow you to leap social levels as if you were superman. Women do like you – it’s just that they’re women in your LEAGUE.

No matter what, men seem to think they need to be rewarded beyond the ordinary, for being nice. As if they went to some sort of trouble, or they made this huge effort that needs to be recognised.

In romance novels the heroes are always, always nice – eventually. Women need men who respect them, care for them and give to them when they are in need. Just as they do the same for their men. The men are cool, mucho, wild, and very badly behaved, but when it comes to their one true love, they are always, without exception, nice to her.

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Because women cling to their children long after they should to legitimise their existance

 

empty nestIf it’s not one thing, it’s your mother

Women don’t know when to let go.

This is generally the women who have stayed home and placed the unnatural burden on their children, of demanding they legitimise their existence; although working mums have been known to indulge in this ailment too.

If you choose to stay at home to look after your children, part of that obligation is making sure you take care of yourself enough so that you are properly there for them – not just using them as an excuse for not having to take responsibility for the big things in your life.

However, large amounts of stay at home mothers (and some going to work mothers) do not do this. They stay at home and look after their children, then ‘expect’ a great deal for that ‘sacrifice’.

They expect to be allowed to have a say in who their children  date or marry (especially if that partner is causing the adult child to spend less time at home) they expect to be remembered, they expect to come before the partner, and in the case of male children, they expect seniority in his heart and mind over the newer lesser female.

If a woman ‘devotes’ herself to her children, they need to look out, because not only will she expect reward, but she will expect to be allowed to be ‘devoted’ to her children for the rest of her life, because after all, a woman’s work is never done.

This is one that men don’t share because men know that they are not the same person and their children, and they know very well, the dangers of being mollycoddled. They know how they achieved autonomy and they want that gift for their children. It is the mother that never achieved her own actualisation that can’t understand her children’s need to have that.

In romance novels women never confuse motherhood with personhood. If women ‘work at home’ with their children, they treat it like a job, and they detach and do the best they can, encouraging their budding adults to be self reliant, self sufficient and self aware. These women love their children, but they are also looking forward to the time they can be alone in the nest with their lover again, the difficult task of childrearing over.

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