Archive for July, 2009

Because men think the most important things of all don’t matter or are too threatening

gutica6

If you want to discuss football, cars or horror movies your man will be a part of it.

If you want to discuss porn, funniest home videos or Borat the man is the first to comment.

But if you want to talk about current affairs, science or literature – he’ll ask you to fit it into a commercial break.

If you want to talk about your children, your sex life or god forbid your day, then he has no time, or he is ‘suddenly distracted’ by something else.

The truth is, most women have trouble getting their man to openly and properly discuss any subject including politics, science or technology. Each of these discussions will soon deteriorate into a battle of wills, governed by the male desire to defeat rather than a pure clean rational discussion or debate about ideas. Any slightly deviating opinion from his will be seen as a challenge to his masculinity and any major deviation categorised as straightforward madness.

The best a woman can hope for is that he may decide to ‘take you on’ a la Henry Higgins, and work on you, help change you, help you grow in your realisation, till you see the error of your ways and end up thinking the exact same way as him.

In romance novels men adore deep intellectual conversation. They do not see alternate opinion as a threat to their very manhood and they don’t think your ideas automatically mean you think his are crap. He’s excited by your independence, confident in your love, and keen to stick by your side and watch you grow.

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Because women are too nice

lemon juice

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” Mark Twain

Even when women are being mean and sarcastic they’re too nice.

When women get together nothing gets done because they’re too busy making sure everyone likes them. Where men will happily compete and use each other to get places, a woman will passively aggressively hold back and use subtleties like gentle sarcasm and behind the back gossip to get themselves ahead.

Women are too afraid of not being thought of as nice to openly communicate. They aren’t very nice of course – they’re as mean and vicious as any man – but they mask it (unsuccessfully) behind gentle hostility in order to never seem mean.

If someone (male or female) actually calls them on their hostility, they can say they never meant it. They were trying to be nice. They can’t help it if you took it that way. Their wide eyed appeal is almost always convincing. (Its loss of power will be directly proportional to the amount of times it is used)

In other words, you’ve misinterpreted.

By the time all this is on the table the opportunity for action is long past and no one wants to do anything anymore; or there is just no time.

In romance novels the women are – regularly – not very nice at all. They’re spirited, alive, wild and busy – but rarely nice. And that’s why intelligent women like them so much

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Because male desire is manufactured

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Men can’t actually decide what to like on their own, so they need to be told.

We now know from eminent evolutionists that the primary point of attraction between males and females is the mind. People couple over the intellect more than any other method of attraction; you’re more likely to choose and intellectually compatible mate over any other. 

This relatively new information is not consistent with the traditional masculine ideal, which states that all men prefer young women (who look like Barbie) to any other.

So in step the men’s soft porn mags to make sure we don’t forget what a real man is – and we don’t lose the opportunity to market to him so that he spends lots of his money being a ‘real man’. We need to sell him the mags, of course, fancy cars, t shirts and those scented football jerseys one hangs in the car from the rear view mirror.

His grip on the traditional male is already weak, so if you play to the hetero dude inside, puffing him up, telling him that he really does exist and he really does deserve to be nurtured, you are more likely to sell more merchandise.

Because men are not yet ready to admit that a thinking woman is ten times sexier than a D cup, they are happier to turn in fantasy to women in soft porn. Of course, it is important that these women don’t actually LOOK like women – they have to look like the dolls men’s sisters played with when they were kids that the little boys wished belonged to them.

In romance novels men are not attracted to images of women that have been made up to look like dolls. They prefer real women. They prefer to be making love to real women, and they always prefer to be intellectually turned on by their women.

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Because women always go to the toilet in pairs

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Two wrongs don’t make a right

Why do women always go to the toilet in pairs?

This question has been answered in many different ways, by men and by women.

Women will tell you they go to feel safe, to be in company and to be less conspicuous.

Men will tell you they go to talk about men, make themselves more beautiful for men, to compare notes they’ve taken on the men at the table and analyse what each other thinks and to borrow lipstick  from each other to improve how they look to the men.

One reason women go to the bathroom together is solidarity.

They need to check in with each other. Women are so obsessed with their own opinions images and general presentation that they need to run everything by their friend in the privacy of the ladies room.

However, even bigger than that, the primary reason women go to the ladies room together is for fear of looking stupid if they go alone. If they get lost, if they are unsure, they want to do this in partnership – they don’t want to look silly.

In romance novels the women only ever look silly when they are being silly, and not simply for making simple mistakes. They have the confidence to go to the bathroom alone, not worrying at all about losing their way.

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Because men hate that they need women so much

a happy couple

It infuriates men that they need women.

Ultimately, the main reason they need women, is to make babies. A woman can make a baby with sperm in a cup, but a man really needs a flesh and blood woman for nine full months to make a baby.

This poses many problems. The main one of which is, men are dependent on women, and women are not dependant on men.

This inequity has seen men, for as long as we’ve been walking without dragging our knuckles on the ground, trying to rectify the balance.

The best way to explain this and retain self esteem for men has been to claim they want women to have constant sex with. By claiming this is why they REALLY want the women around, men will get to look like super studs as well as diminishing the real desperate need they have to keep women on their side.

At the end of the day, however, men don’t just need women to make babies. They need them to build up their flagging self esteem, they need them to look after their most basic needs, they need them to do all the jobs their mother refuses to do anymore, and these days they need them for all of the above, with bringing in the money added to the list.

In romance novels it is no secret to anyone that men need women desperately. Women in real life know that men need them (mainly because it’s so damned obvious) and so when they read about sexy warrior style men who openly claim they need their woman (note they always want THEIR woman) for companionship, solidarity and endless rounds of hot long lasting sex – they find it difficult to forget this world exists. No matter how questionable the writing may be.

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Because women invent new names for their errors to get out of them

washing machine 2

‘Tis divine to err against humans

One of the advantages to making a mistake is that it is only likely to be picked up by another human.  This means when another human finds out you’ve made an error, you can simply say ‘no I didn’t.’

Women have become quite adept at getting through this. Individually, their mistakes are usually noticed by their own children so it is easy to explain them away to kids. If they make them in front of their husband, they can claim that he doesn’t really love her, that he loves to point out her mistakes or that she has an alternate perspective.

This last one is how woman, on the universal level, is letting everyone know that she isn’t really making mistakes at all. The standard by which we judge anything, you see, is taken from the male perspective, which ultimately means, no standard set up can judge a woman.

While this may be true, it does get used by women (and some men) to allow for inactivity or general cruelty. When a woman is cruel, she is oppressed and lashing out, and when a woman is inactive, she is bored and been pushed hard into a life she had no control in setting up.

Women and some men (they used to be called sensitive new age guys) will use women’s tricks to get away with a multitude of ‘sins’ by ‘explaining’ things in these ways. Tables are turned, ideas are read backward and in the end an accomplishment turns out to be simply getting through the day.

In romance novels the women have lived up to great accomplishments – even by traditional male standards. While they are women, they are still able to achieve at a level that anyone can tell is a success and at the same time retain their femininity. No wonder so many women love them so much.

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Because men are so needy

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You know what’s really going on when men hit on women the way they do don’t you?

Because women are foolishly easily flattered, they fail to see exactly why men hit on them so easily and so often. Men say – because it helps the scenario work better- that they hit on women because of sex. We’ve seen in earlier posts that this myth is not the reason at the heart of the matter.

The truth is, men are afraid every minute of every day of their life, and they hit on any woman in a ten mile radius to tell them they are safe and that if worst comes to worst, the girl in the cafe that flirted with them likes them and he can always run away and start again with her.

That is what is really at the basis of all the times the men flirt with women around them. After a time, men will flirt with any woman in their company. They’ll flirt with women they would never have looked at in their life under normal circumstances, if she is the only woman in the office and if she has been there long enough.

One of the problems in the interaction between men and women is that women are looking to run away from themselves as well, so when a man flirts with them, they immediately form an attachment, thinking he’s going to get them off the hook as well.

Men end up feeling utter disdain for the woman they’ve formed a mild attachment to, as soon as she displays any kind of weakness, need, or dependence on him. In fact, this is the most terrifying thing for a man of all; that he may have to be responsible for the woman he’s creating something with.

If you think about it, this makes sense. He’s out to escape and he needs this brief interlude to be about freeing him from whatever it is that has made him afraid. If she tries to solidify it in any way, unless he is looking for marriage, he will run a mile and flirt with the next girl who won’t try to pin him down. Especially if he’s already married to someone else.

In romance novels the men are needy, but they are not dependant. They can look after themselves perfectly and they know this. When they run from their own fears into the arms of a woman it is only so she can heal with the soul of who she is, not so she can fix any problems and free him from having to do it. Women love to be the muse for his healing – and that’s why intelligent women read romance novels.

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