Archive for November, 2009

Because women fall for Vampires and Warewolves

“She stared at me, and neither half of her once-beautiful face was friendly.

‘So, you’re the vampire girl?’

I stiffened. ‘Yes. Are you the wolf girl?’

She laughed, as did Embry and Jared. The left half of her face warmed. ‘I guess I am.'”

The Twilight Series, New Moon. Stephanie Meyer

I would love to be able to explain this one to you. I would love to tell you that it is simply the collective sigh when Taylor Lautner first takes his shirt off by the broken bike. I would love to tell you it’s because creatures from another world are obsessive and fixate on their loved ones and that’s all there is to it. I would love to tell you its as simple as Robert Pattinson walking slow motion toward you;  fantasies, daydreams and soft porn.

But there may be more to it than that.

Women (regardless of the male opinion of this) on the whole feel that men will let them down. The advantage women who date supernatural beings have over women who date human males is deep and complex. A supernatural being will fall inlove with your scent, or some abstract genetic makeup or because you were the chick that picked up the book in the bookshop in which he has been imprisoned for thousands of years.  The woman can grow old, fat, ugly, dull and be really bad in bed, and he still acts as though there are no other women on the planet. He won’t be looking at other women and he will still treat her as the centre of the universe.

The woman has to do nothing to secure this. She simply has to be.

All human beings really need is something to live for. A thing that is so important to you that you will give your life over to it. All human beings aspire to this and need it to progress through their day that will lead them to the inveitable (a death that confirms our status as of no consequence what so ever) and for a woman there is no higher status than to be the raison d’etre for a sexy divine man that every other woman wants.  To be the ultimate object of desire, so that he will humiliate himself by confessing love in the face of your scoffing and objections, beat up anyone who tries to hurt you and show a tiny little bit of obsession, creates the deep stirring of lust for any woman.  It also gives her a love that really is worth giving her life over to.

So if you’re wondering why supernatural beings are so essential, these are some of the reasons that may shed a light. I suspect, just like the porn queens the men so admire, the fact that warewolves and vampires don’t actually exist has a bit to do with it as well. If they aren’t real, you can indulge in any fantasy you want, and you will never have to be confronted with any ugly reality.

In romance novels women can indulge in all sorts of delicious fantasies without ever having to deal with ugly realities, like infidelity, the wandering eye, beer bellies, ungracious burps as the only thanks at the end of dinner or farts in the bed.  The men in these films and books are just like the girls on the covers of Playboy, and Penthouse and their ilk. They’re supernatural, look vaguely human, but not really, and most of all never, ever act like any real human beings.

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