Because men use emotional blackmail to get what they want


I know it has usually been men who complain about this one from women, but it is true for both sexes in the way they deal with each other when it comes to relating.

Picture this scenario:

“Where are you going tonight?”

“Out with the girls?”

Deep sigh and looks back at the football game.


She moves around getting ready. He says nothing but stars in a moody way at the TV,.

“Is everything ok honey?”

“”Yeah. Why wouldn’t it be?”

“You seem upset.”

“did you tell me about this thing with the girls?”
“I did tell you. Last week, then again on Monday and then last night as well.”

Stony silence as he watches the TV.

“Are you ok honey?”
“Why wouldn’t I be ok? What is your problem? Just leave me alone to watch the game by myself, will you?”

“I left you dinner in the fridge.”

“I’m going out for a burger.”

And on it goes till she either decides to stay home at which point he will say its her choice, he didn’t make her, cause a fight and storm out after the game to go out with his mates – or go to bed early and roll over with his back to her.

Men have been using these and other manipulation techniques since they were babies on their mothers. Women don’t have the same talent for it, as we never received the same attention men did from them mothers. Men are absolute masters at manipulating a woman and then convincing her that it is all their fault.

The best one of course (as we have seen recently) is the jealousy factor. They’ll ogle other women in the street, which sends a very clear signal of “you’re not good enough” to their partner whose beauty used to be all they needed (I mean can you imagine what would happen if SHE got another guy to perform the male roles  – if he came home to find another guy changing light bulbs, fixing the car and mowing the lawns) and when she get upset they will  – and this is always done (mysteriously) with unnecessary aggression – tell her that she is insane and that she needs therapy, or that she has a terrible personal issue. Of course the reason they are even having the conversation is HIS insecurity.

In romance novels the men can still be manipulative, because women are bad at identifying this still. But if they are, their insecurity is always obvious and their lover nurses (and kisses) all their problems away.



8 Responses to “Because men use emotional blackmail to get what they want”

  1. 1 The Nooner Assistant March 12, 2010 at 7:24 am

    Maybe if a woman ogled a man once in a while her husband would work twice as hard at keeping her happy and less inclined to manipulate. Heterosexual men do like looking at women and they know how to get what they want. Perhaps there is a lesson in doing the same thing to get what you want. Just a thought….

  2. 2 writerdood March 12, 2010 at 7:24 am

    Ah, you mean sulking.
    Yes, I’ve been known to sulk.
    She’s FAR better at it though. I can only sulk for about an hour. She can sulk for weeks.

    As for oggling other women on the street – I only do this if I think she’s not looking. I don’t want her to be jealous – ever. Bad juju, jealousy. And I don’t want her to feel inadequate. She’s not. I just want her to be happy, that way I can be happy too.


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  1. 1 Because men choose bad role models « Why intelligent women read romance novels. Trackback on April 7, 2010 at 10:04 pm

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