Archive for April, 2010

Because men don’t know how to be masculine and nice

For some strange reason, it was decided long ago, that masculine equals cruel. There have been many excuses put forward to defend this strange behaviour. testosterone was used till it was proven that it doesn’t actually increase aggression in males. religion was used till we didn’t buy the story hat god gave men and women different gifts. Biological determinism was used until we realised that creatures can drop evolved habits in a lifetime that have outgrown their usefulness.

In the end, there is no real reason why men equate meanness with masculinity, except perhaps that they have been getting away with it for so long. Of course, such a potent force has been completely done away with in three generations. Aggression now is saved for sports jocks and low socio-economic groups.

And so the truth behind this behaviour starts to emerge.

But the best ting about the death of this is that men who are not aggressive are re defining masculinity so that men can be gentle, good to the people around them and still seen as strong. Power no longer is seen as a thing that needs to be taken. it is a thing that an individual needs to earn and then it is a tool they use to get certain things done.

Cruelty is now seen as a bi product of an unresolved issue in one’s childhood or a sign of inner weakness. People may be admired for it in the short-term still, but in the long-term it inspires a backhanded sympathy and embarrassment.

However, what is now emerging the man who is very nice, but a real wimp. I know this poor guy thinks his time has finally come, but I am afraid I am here to burst your bubble. We are looking for something new now, a new kind of man who is both powerful and has empathy for others. This does not give men blanket permission to just be passive receivers of life either.

In romance  novels men have always been portrayed as they are starting t emerge today. However, they are still power. They know that power is a thing that comes from inside them, not something they do to others. They never appear weak and pathetic because they are in control of themselves. This si how men have always been written in romance novels. Now that women have a voice and a choice, they are choosing more and more men who can be someone more like this.

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Because women will use pregnancy to get a man

I would love to say this is never true. I would love to say women would never sink this low. I would love to say women are aware that they don’t need men enough to never do this. I would love to say women have too much self-respect to trap another human being like this.

But it isn’t true.

Women will do this.

I have seen it on a number of occasions – hey its even been a joke on Sex and the City. Women will use pregnancy to get a man and I can’t think of a worse reason to have a child except maybe boredom.

Part of wanting to have power over their own bodies and reproductive rights is responsibilities around when and how to have children. If women really want control over their own reproductive capabilities, they have to acknowledge how much power they have in the world and they have to use it responsibly.

Just have men have had to learn to be responsible with physical strength and have learnt to curb it and channel it, so women have to learn how to handle reproductive strength.

To use a baby to catch a man makes no sense.

It creates and fosters resentment against you and against the child.

It is an inappropriate use of power.

Women really have to wake up about this one, and just as they don’t ever want a man to make them pregnant against their will, so they must not deliberately make a man a father just to use social responsibility to catch him.

IN romance novels this just never, ever happens. Women are responsible human beings who have babies in partnership with men who love them. They simply NEVER get pregnant deliberately to catch the guy.

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Because men will let themselves be a sucker for a woman who doesn’t care

 

Men will pursue women out of their league.

I’m not sure why. Perhaps it is because women tend to go for men slightly beneath them so if those are the stats, no wonder the guys are incapable of recognizing when their out classed.

However, here is a big wake up call.

Not all women are nice, not all women are going to worship you. Some women are bitches.

And that is the hard and ugly truth of getting out there and doing he dating thing.

However, if you consistently go for women out of your league and then they find out you are not the guy you made yourself out to be while you were both drunk while dancing to DJ love, and she treats you bad for a few weeks, get it! She doesn’t want to date you.

Or, as they say in the reverse, she’s just not that into you.

Because men have a propensity to date – or pursue women – out of their league, I hear stories all the time saying “all she wants is money” “women don’t want nice guys” “I treated her really well and she treated me like rubbish.” She’s not that into you – she doesn’t want to date you.

When you go to the party hoping to see her there and she’s kissing a jock in the corner, she doesn’t want to be with you.

Gentlemen, you should start reading romance novels and learn the signs. There are women who want to date nice guys and there are women who will treat you well. They’re probably in your league, which is why you haven’t noticed them before.

In romance novels the men are always nice and they always get laid by women they are in love with. Not by women disproportionately out of their league.

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Ten stupid things women say

Well I promised yesterday. On this blog we tease men one day and women the next. So here today are my top ten dum things women say. Can you think of more? I bet you can. List them down below.

  1. Do I look fat in this? (Lets be very clear here. Unless you want an answer that is the same in your mind as ‘yes’ do not ask this question.)
  2. Would you sleep with her? (Same as above)
  3. Do you fantasize about other women? (he does. Just like you fantasize about other men. It is not something you need to fear.)
  4. Do you watch porn? (Why embarrass him with this revelation. Unless this is going to be followed by ‘because I have my complete set of 70’s vintage porn here with me, don’t embarrass him like this)
  5. I’m a man’s woman. (Trying to curry favour with men by putting women down is a bad move)
  6. I’d love to have a threesome with another woman and you. (unless you are REALLY bisexual and this is something you really need, don’t go there. DO NOT do this thinking you will mesmerize him with your powers of seduction)
  7. I’d really just like to stay home and look after a man right. (even if you THINK you want this, don’t say it)
  8. I’m sure he didn’t mean it. (He did)
  9. It won’t happen again. (It will)
  10. But he said he’s sorry. (Sorry doesn’t cut it unless it means it will never happen again. )

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Ten stupid things that men say

You know…sometimes it’s not necessary for me to point it out.  Sometimes it is so damn obvious, no one can miss the stupidity! Men can say the dumbest things in the world.

Well.. lets write them in a list shall we? here is a few, If you have some good ones to add, I’d love to hear your comments!

  1. She’s big like you (Charming)
  2. BF –  I want to set my mate up with your friend. GF – why do you think he would like her? BF – because we have the same taste in women. (That one is pretty good)
  3. That ass makes your jeans look fat. (I bet he didn’t get a second date)
  4. Did I forget to tell you I am disabled? (This actually happened to me!)
  5. You know if you had liposuction you’d be really hot. (This is said more often than you may realise)
  6. You can cook whatever you want – It’s your birthday! (I suspect most men have thought this one, and some men have stopped before saying it)
  7. I bet you were gorgeous when you were younger (Bingo – I had this one too – nothing a girl likes to hear more than how much he wishes she was younger)
  8. Is that your real hair colour? (no explanation required)
  9. Do you have a hot sister. (Again – no explanation required)
  10. Hey I was just LOOKING at her! (One of my personal favourites because we ALL KNOW he wasn’t JUST looking at her)

Don’t worry – the women get their turn tomorow. But till then, add to this list! I bet there are HEAPS more stupid things the guys say!

www.barbranovac.com

Because women think emotion is everything

 

While I have said earlier this month that men think emotions are nothing because they are bad and communicating their emotions, the exact reverse is true for women. They think emotions are everything because that is what they have studied and practised.

Sometimes, emotional connection is used as a way of not dealing with the real world. Another word for it is drama. Drama is used to avoid many things in life that need to be done or need to be taken responsibility for.

Women call this important, this overindulgent outpouring of emotion. Sometimes, it is important.

However, mostly it is just a chance to keep conversation focussed on yourself, or delay taking action on something that needs to be addressed.

Excessive drama and emotionality is the kind of thing that gets eliminated through sport. You can’t perform on drama; you have to get the activity done no matter how you “feel”. This is an area where men have it sorted and women don’t. The more physical exercise a woman takes the less room for drama and lengthy chit chat on nonsensical issues that take up all her time.

Using emotions in this way also creates a barrier to really being able to read the emotions of others. Women are very good at this, except when they are hyper drama queens. Then they read everything through the spectacles of their own situation, and usually miss what is actually going on for the other person.

In romance novels women are still hyper drama queens, but it’s different because in fantasy women can be as dramatic as they want and still get lots of things done / faced / conquered.

www.barbranovac.com

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Because men think they know more about women’s bodies than women

I learned recently that in my country (Australia) they can’t make pornographic films with female ejaculation hitting someone else, because it is considered urination.

Beautiful.

I was also talking with an ardent biological determinist recently who was determined to convert me to his brand of nonsense. When I told him there were two absolute definitive proofs that sex is not just about procreation, and both of these could be found in women’s bodies, it was difficult to get him to concentrate for long enough to tell him. I said:

  1. The pill. When women knew for sure they couldn’t get pregnant, it created a massive social movement around free love and women came out on mass to have unrestricted sex.
  2. The clitoris. Because it is almost impossible for it to be stimulated during penetrative sex.

Men have been trying to tell women for years and years that if they don’t have sex with them they will contract a kind of madness. Wombs were thought to be a source of manic depressive behaviour not to mention an organ desperately in need of a male.

I know this is an old example, but it is still true today – as seen in my earlier examples. The medical profession (a very masculine entity) likes to think that it understands women’s bodies far better than the women do. So women are laughed at for thinking their symptoms are any worse than a little boredom and can’t be prescribed a bex, a cup of tea and a good lie down.

In this area men simply haven’t caught up with knowledge and information. There is much more we know about women’s bodies than ever before, now that it has been decided they are worth examining and worth looking at as different from a male body.

Of course, this is not all men. There are men who like to think that women have special physical needs that mean they need the medical advice of other females. Some men are waking up to the fact that women’s bodies can’t be explained in the typical way we think of men. But these men are sadly few.

In romance novels, of course, the women’s body is celebrated. Men don’t think they know more about it and the thing they want more than anything is to worship a woman at her body, not own and control it.

www.barbranovac.com

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