Because men can’t have sex with women they respect

“Why can’t you do those things with your wife?

Hey! That mouth kisses my children.” – Analyse This

Sex is very screwed up in men’s minds. For a group of people who claim to be crystal clear about what they want, the typical man’s mind is a minefield of unresolved desire, confusion and lack of direction around the issue of sex.

Men have trouble having sex with women they respect.  Now this should tell us something very big. It should tell the girls who think they can use sex to ‘get’ a man that your far less likely to be able to get him if that’s why you’re putting out. And for the women who wait, it tells them they can expect to never have exciting dynamic sex with a man because if he respects you too much he won’t be able to do it with you properly.

This is the secret behind men cheating on wives. Forget all the nonsense about natural sexual drives. Men want to have sex outside of relationship because they can’t get that “thrill” from their wives.

Add to this the power issue – where men want to dominate women through sex and you have a messy cocktail of confusion and irrationality that has men in response to their emotions on this issue all the time and never taking a leadership position on it.

Men have tried to pretend for centuries that there is ‘some mysterious biological force’ behind this irrational behaviour, but it has never stuck – primarily because despite the millions of dollars poured into scientific research in this area, they just can’t prove it true.

Can you guess why?

In romance novels the men have passionate love affairs with their partners and it never ends. The great attentive (and I mean attentive toward her) sex continues on and on for years – and that’s another reason why women love them so much.



9 Responses to “Because men can’t have sex with women they respect”

  1. 1 gooddump May 14, 2010 at 11:37 am

    Personally, I have trouble having sex with a woman I don’t respect. I CAN have casual sex, but I don’t know much about the woman, so I can pretend she’s whatever I want.

    But as I get to know her one of two things happens. If I’m lucky, I become a closer friend, and a better companion, and if I’m really lucky, we become better lovers together. Or I find out she’s a psycho idiot whom I never want to exchange bodily fluids with again.

    Of course, I have had those relationships where I’ve had less sex with her as I got to know her because she doesn’t want it anymore. And as I respect someone more, I’m less likely to try to make them do something they don’t want to. But then, that just leads to your blog “Because women pretend they like sex more than actually doing it”

    • 2 Barbra Novac May 15, 2010 at 11:38 pm

      Thanks so much for your comment. It’s interesting isn’t it? The way we tend to go down paths that lead back to the same place that is where we never wanted to be in the first place.
      I appreciate your time and your words.
      Thanks again

  2. 3 Yo' Momma May 15, 2010 at 6:39 am

    I cannot agree with this post more. I once had a boyfriend who I was totally into, and the passion was good for awhile (like 5 minutes), but then I SWEAR as soon as he started getting to know me better, respecting me, loving me, blah blah blah, the “relations” turned into snooze-city. Great post, very accurate.

  3. 5 mylifestylemakeover June 15, 2010 at 6:06 pm

    Whats the answer then? As a couple becomes increasingly comfortable with each other does the relationship become too ‘buddy’ like and less passionate? Do we really need to keep ‘mystery’ going in a relationship for the rest of our lives? Will we ever be able to relax, open up, pee with the bathroom door open AND have dirty passionate sex???
    I guess if a man was willing to be emotionally intimate during sex that would solve some of the problem. But how many men are able to look you in the eyes and tell you they love you while they are penetrating you? Sigh.

    • 6 Barbra Novac June 16, 2010 at 9:10 pm

      I agree! I think the answer lies more in learnng how to have sex without it having to be bad. But we are a long way from that. As a culture we talk continuously about sex, and yet there are still so many rules around ones sexuality and the way one is percieved through sex that are poorly expressed. Sex is the place where a lot of societies issues are played out. It’s almost a battlefield if you will. It’s not just what goes on between hetro couples. There is homosexuality, birth control, power, money, morality, children and even freedom that often become battlefields over sexual issues. I think when a woman and a man are having sex, a lot more is being played out than just their two persons expereince.
      Thanks so much for your comments, and please feel free to add links to any comments.

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