Because men will reject a woman for what drew her to him in the first place

It was Socrates who said the unexamined life was not worth living.

A man.

And yet men lives the most unexamined of lives, generally and have a lot of trouble taking responsibility for

One of the most common of these are the men who will be attracted to a certain kind of woman, and then reject her when they grow to realise that what they liked about her was not what they liked in the first place. This will particularly happen in the area of women who need men.

Inevitably – in fact i will go as far as to say without exception – when men are drawn to women because they want to rescue them, eventually they will get rid of  the woman for exactly those same reasons.

Despite all the stereotypes, men can’t stand it when a woman relies on them. They resent women who are clingy and needy, and who demand that he be strength for both of them. Oh sure, he can do it when she is scared of the spider in the corner, or if she doesn’t want to change the lightbulb. When short bursts of masculinity are required, he loves the feeling of being a ‘man.’ However when a sustained support is expected of him, he will either run for the hills or jeopardise the situation in other ways.

And yet, these kinds of women get men easily and frequently. Especially if she’s pretty, they will toss logic out the window and fall at he feet of the helpless woman. And they will do it happily without any thoughts to the consequences or without any recognition of that little voice inside of him that tells him he won’t like her in the morning. A crying woman, a woman who can’t change a tyre, a woman wo can’t read a map – these are all the women men will fall over themselves to help. They are all the women he will walk out on when she throws tantrum number twenty, abandon with flat tyres and make fun of in public about her not being able to read a map.

Men need to realise – and perhaps and examined life would do this – that women who employ these kinds of tactics to get your attention will always use these kinds of tactics. If they understood that, they may be able to prevent themselves from getting into some pretty ugly messes.

In romance novels men are men. they don’t mind if she is weak and needy. If he loves her, he will simply be there for her no matter what. But for women, the heroine is as important as the hero, and so none of the women are needy or manipulative in this fashion anyway.



7 Responses to “Because men will reject a woman for what drew her to him in the first place”

  1. 1 duke1959 July 22, 2010 at 1:29 am

    This is really good stuff. You are so right about these realtionships.

  2. 3 Calimom09 July 24, 2010 at 1:19 pm

    This is really a great observation. You would think after falling for this type of person more than once some guys will get it. I do like the characters in romance novels since the guy doesn’t mind being needed and the female character is not damaged by her being weak.

    • 4 Barbra Novac July 26, 2010 at 11:20 pm

      It’s true isn’t it? Romance novels represent an idealised version of a certain kind of ideal. Reality is a long way from the ideal, and yet it is still held as an ideal.
      But, that is why women love them so much!
      (At least one of the reasons)
      Thanks so much for your comment.

  3. 5 cocoamia July 25, 2010 at 2:52 am

    I agree. However, I believe what we have here is two different kinds of being needed. Women are needed in less obvious but more sustained ways. Men are needed in obvious but short term ways. Women provide nurturing, emotional validation. Men give by lifting heavy objects, changing oil. Like when men get sick it’s worse but shorter. When women get sick it’s drawn out and less severe. These are generalizations but I would say masculine and feminine are expressed in each of us alternately. If it turns out for a man that the woman who needed him isn’t giving him what he needed in return, he must leave her. Is it possible these men who fall for the ‘same kind of woman’ are expecting her to provide the nurturing and emotional support women are expected to provide. I’m leary of romance novels. Many I’ve read express female sexism. The women seem to be angry and defensive, the men patient and mature. *Cringe*

    • 6 Barbra Novac July 26, 2010 at 11:20 pm

      Thanks so much for your wonderful comment.
      You are welcome here any time.

    • 7 lm August 27, 2014 at 9:20 am

      ” Women are needed in less obvious but more sustained ways. Men are needed in obvious but short term ways. Women provide nurturing, emotional validation. Men give by lifting heavy objects, changing oil.”

      Which also tends to mean that the ways in which women are needed are undervalued and invalidated because they are invisible and intangible, and not concrete … and men all but ridicule them, and ridicule women for providing them, and only notice them when they are not (or no longer) there.

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