(List not yet complete – but will be by end of week)

Because men don’t understand flirting

Because women turn into puritanists

Because men think when a woman does it, it’s stupid

Because women think gossip is justifyable

Because men move in with women for the wrong reasons

Because men refuse to learn how to do women’s work

Because women can’t tolerate male imperfection

Because men will avoid difficulties and hope they just go away

Because women think the big issues have nothing to do with them

Because men always get more food

Because women make small gestures mean too much

Because strange things threaten masculinity

Because women think anorexia is beautiful

Because men can’t understand a woman’s basic needs

Because women like girlie trinkets

Because men need to take up as much physical space as possible

Because women both love and hate everyone in their world

Because men are always looking for their mother

Because women think going shopping is creative

Because men need to reinfocrce their masculinity at all times as if it were going to dissapear

Because women act like they hate their men when they want their men to come closer

Because men can only fix machines

Because women fall in love with unobtainable men

Because men think they’re better at being woman than woman

Because women have the wrong kind of power

Because women fall for vampires and warewolves

Because men use sexual aggressiveness to mask sexual weakness

Because women need to tell stories over and over again

Because women need to talk into the wee small hours about nothing

Because men need to ‘adjust’ in public all the time

Because men like to ‘fund’ women’s emancipation

Because women think they’re problems are unique

Because men attack their women socially

Because women prefer material gifts to emotional gifts

Because all men secretly think they’re alpha males

Because women think laziness is introspection

Because men are enamoured with their own ability to think

Because women expect too much from men

Because women won’t talk about money

Because men pretend not to understand women

Because men think footballers are telented, clever people

Because women think they need plastic surgery

Because men think they can speak for women

Because even though women know how to change a tyre – they won’t

Because men won’t talk

Because women think they have to act like porn stars to get attention

Because men don’t shower enough

Because women ask men if they’re too fat

Because men are so needy

Because women invent new names for their errors so they can get out of them

Because men hate that they need women so much

Because women always go to the toilet in pairs

Because male desire is manufactured

Because women are too nice

Because men think the most important things of all don’t matter or are too threatening

Because women want to be good cooks, not great chefs.

Because men think single men get more sex.

Because women won’t take advantage of feminism.

Because men love puritanical pornography.

Because women are secretly grateful for disasters.

Because men operate in packs.

Because women think a small amount of expereince makes them an expert.

Beause men need women to be ‘other’ so they know what a man is.

Because women are fickle.

Because men think they need adventure.

Because women choose their partners too quickly.

Because men need to throw things in the air and catch them in their mouths.

Because if you don’t know why she’s mad, she’s not going to tell you.

Because men like to pee in public.

Because women won’t have fun in bed.

Because men think they need the upper hand all the time.

Because a woman rescued means the woman is yours.

Because men fail to identify and address personal weakness.

Because women think feminism stole their choices.

Because men think its funny to pick on others.

Because women feel guilty all the time.

Because men have to perform crazy tricks on their bikes.

Because women need conditions to be perfect before they will engage in sex.

Because men say they are things that they are not.

Because women love tarot readings.

Because men have poor personal hygiene.

Because women think they love the strong silent type.

Because men think farting is funny.

Because women cling to their children long after they should to legitimise their existance.

Because men think women don’t date nice guys.

Because women won’t date nice guys.

Because men fall in love at the drop of a hat.

Because women will only do something nice for someone if they get acknowledged for it.

Because men hate divorce.

Because women won’t play games during sex.

Because women love self help books.

Because men think if they lie enough eventually it will become the truth.

Because women are committed to keeping women down.

Because men get swept away.

Because women won’t take responsibility for their love life.

Becase men are such studs.

Because women shop instead of think.

Because men can’t pee sitting down.

Because women overanalyse everything.

Because men are searching for their mothers.

Because women are ‘going to’…

Because men are so nervous.

Because women need to redecorate.

Because men have trouble letting go.

Because women need new ‘things’ to make them feel special.

Because men think no one undertands them.

Because women like to complain.

Because men misinterpret flattery.

Because women need to write their thoughts in a journal.

Because men think that giving a woman what she wants is selling out.

Because women think Feng Shui will get everything done.

Because men can’t take what they dish out.

Because women use ‘nice’ as a weapon of mass destruction.

Because men mistake laziness for being trapped.

Because women sell out to men.

Because men prefer younger women.

Because women still want men to rescue them.

Because men are terrified of being gay.

Because women are always on a diet.

Because men have trouble with other points of view.

Because women don’t want to take advantage of opportunity.

Because men are petty.

Because women still use childish flirting techniques.

Because men have made feminism all about men.

Because women say sorry but don’t mean it.

Because men want simple answers to complex problems.

Because women think celebrities are their friends.

Because men think women are jealous of their penis

Because men are such emotional creatures

Because women think it’s reasuring to tell everyone else your problem

Because men think that winning the battle is more important than winning the war

Because women ‘mother’ their way to the top

Because men can fix plumbing – even when they can’t

Because every woman, no matter what she says, follows astrology

Because men think the relationship “high” is meant to last forever

Because women belive you develop spiritually up a ladder

Because when men want to be wild they think its their woman holding them back

Because want to act like strippers but don’t want to be treated like strippers

Because men want to act like a hero without having to act like a hero

Because women believe in listening… to them

Because men hate women’s bodies

Because women have no sense of fashion

Because every man secretly thinks he is a genius

Because every woman thinks she’s Carrie Bradshaw

Because men do badly in school

Because women are so competitive

Because men have disproportionately large egos

Because  women have cleanliness OCD

Because of men’s endless, flawless, virility

Because women want running the household to have the same status as running a company

Because men always think women are hitting on them

Because women hit on each others boyfriends / husbands

Because men gossip too much

Because women need constant validation

Because men hate marriage

To get credit for doing nothing

Because of Men

6 Responses to “Full List of Why intelligent women read romance novels”


  1. 1 Mattie Lennon February 14, 2013 at 4:25 am

    I am preparing a speech for Toastmasters based on my own experiences. I won’t bore you with much of it but I’m including the first couple of paragraphs.
    I have always found that when I describe a woman as “intelligent” my listener seldom or ever knows what to say by way of a reply.
    I would be very thankful for a comment from you.

    Thanking you,
    Mattie Lennon.
    http://www.mattielennon.com.
    *******************************************************************************************

    “A girl with brains ought to do something with them besides think”.
    (“Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.”)

    Say a woman is ugly, beautiful, plain or even homely and you’ll get a plethora of agreement and disagreement from both sexes. Describe one of the fairer gender as “stupid” and the reaction will not be unanimous one way or the other. “Plain”, “efficient”, “house proud”, “sexually focused”, “man-mad” and “upwardly-mobile” will be met with anything from full concurrence to vicious contradiction. You might even, at times, get a belt in the mouth.
    Have you ever said “that one has a powerful brain”? In the words of Padraig Flynn, ‘ try it sometime.’
    Refer to a female as “intelligent” and you’ll be met with the same poker-faced indifference as if you had described Enda Kenna as a great statesman. I can guarantee you’ll get neither a “she certainly is” or a “no, she’s not” reply. Any comment about a woman’s physical attributes, attitudes, or social traits will cause anything from grudging accord to lively discussion. But any reference to her IQ and you’re in no-comment country. If you comment on the superior intellect of a male you will get anything from a begrudging, concise, if rhetorical, “what good is it to him?” to a diatribe about his shortcomings and track record with maybe a bit of, derogatory information about his pedigree thrown in. But you will be answered!
    Reply Forward

    Marcel

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