Posts Tagged 'freedom'

Because men think hurting yourself needlessly means something

I have discussed on this blog before men’s peculiar habits and the strange meanings they attach to them. 
 
however there are few stranger than the actions that are taken in the name of machismo.
 
Lets look at a few of them:
 
– Doing outrageous stunts on bikes
– turbo charging a skateboard
– cliff diving
– running in front of stampeding bulls
– attempting impossible stuns on ramps
– wrestling snakes and crocodiles 
– riding bulls
 
The show that properly represents these incredibly foolish acts is Jackass. I have yet to meet a man who doesn’t defend Jackass. The amazing thing is not so much the defence (after all, this is a blog defending the right to read romance novels) it is more the meanings attacked to the acts themselves. They have a sort of love for machismo. Even though the behaviours of the shows hosts are foolish, there is something very special and brave about it.
 
A more serious treatment of a similar subject occurs in the book Fight Club. In this book the self-abuse is definitely seen as a kind of machismo; a reaching into the depths of oneself for a meaning that is never there and can’t ever be there – but you come out of it a man.
 
In romance novels men are heroes the hard way. By choosing to take a stand and then taking that stand. they fight for who they are and they fight for their women and their loved ones and their principles. They are not men who are so filled with nothing that even stupidity makes them feel more like men.

www.barbranovac.com

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Because men expect power without having to be powerful

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.
Abraham Lincoln

Men love power. They say it is to impress women, but that is about as accurate as the theory that women dress to impress men. Men want power for the same reason women want to look good. to make the others of their sex jealous. To ‘prove’ that they have come first.

So what is a powerful person? Almost every philosophy or theology you will ever read agrees it starts with self-mastery. However, men have missed this point. For them, power resides in the strength of their punch and the quality of their lie.

It is true that men are getting better at resisting the punch. There are very few men in our culture who would defend hitting a woman or a child. there are even men who would resist hitting another man, no matter how much he challenged him to a ‘duel.’

However it is very rare – even in this day and age – to see a man working very hard to improve himself.

Oh, he may want to take more courses in his chosen career path. Or he may be into business books and motivational books. However, how often do you really see a man attempting to practise self-mastery?

And I don’t necessarily mean quitting smoking or losing weight. I mean real self mastery. Like learning how to be nicer to his wife, spend time with the children, and above all fight the ego drives that encourage him to dominate and control every situation, usually to the absolute detriment of all his long terms plans.

Men have largely gotten where they are by mateship and camaraderie. Women know this, because we have so much trouble getting through the ‘glass ceiling’ and being paid the same for equal work. In only very rare exceptions do you see men getting somewhere through intense self-examination, life changing decisions and a challenging of their own ego. It is a very rare man who will not argue  in FAVOUR of his precious ego. Why? Because it is the very key that convinces other men to elevate him, or get him something that he wants. His bravado is far more powerful amongst the world of the powerful (that is other men) because if there is one thing men want to see, it is the lasting enduring power of bravado. They will elevate each other and promote the most useless human being, all in the name of keeping the faith in their egos alive.

In romance novels all the heros are powerful. And they are that good old-fashioned kind of powerful. they are powerful in that they self examine and they allow themselves to grow. Usually they will allow themselves to be transformed by the love of their fine woman. And tat is another reason why women love them so much.

www.barbranovac.com

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Because men like to ‘fund’ women’s emancipation

business negotiations - 2 men 2 women

Men have been paying for women – at least in our culture – for centuries. In the past it has been the wife or the whore, both being women who traded themselves for money.

Now days it still happens, but it has been disguised as ‘investment’.

Take a good hard look around, and you will find men ‘investing’ in women’s ‘freedom’.

For men, it is very difficult to control women these days. You have to be far more creative than you used to be. Women have their own money now and are creating their own opportunities. So if you can’t get her to sleep with you, there are very few options left.

One is investment.

Women are accepting financial assistance from men, who have nothing creative to contribute to the project, but by injkecti9ng a lot of funds, they get to retain their place as an advisor to whatever the woman is doing.

Often men who can’t get the woman to fall in love with them – or can’t be with the woman they want to control (usually because they’re married or too proud to be seen with her) will invest in her business, her creative project, or ‘hook her up with’ a major connection in her life that will take her far. In fact, it would be very difficult for a woman to get far with no favours from a man at all. Yet it would still be very easy for a man to get ahead without ever seeing a woman, let alone needing her favours.

Like all financial exchanges between men and women, this favour requires a great deal of back payment, and is usually binding way past the actual repayment of the investment. Interest alone is not what he wants. Men have always thought their money bought them a great deal when it comes to women.

In romance novels men often invest in women’s projects, but they do so to support her, not to secretly hold power over her. The hero wants to see her fly, because he knows that a happy partner is a secure long term partner and we all know that is what all men want.

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