Posts Tagged 'Friends'

Because women set up fake profile personas to stalk ex’s on Facebook

Ok.. now this is another one of those posts where the men do it to. However, men have such short attention spans that they’ll give up fairly quick. They may come back and haunt you some time in the future, but stalk you for months – they just don’t have the committment to such petty projects.

However women will.

And oh, they will do it for months – even years. I have a friend (don’t we all???) who was on FB and of course some woman friended her and it turned out to be the mother of her husbands child about which she knew nothing. I think just about everyone has a story like this, or they know someone who knows someone who does.

if the woman can’t set up her fake profile to stalk the guy, she will get a friend to do it for her.

So here is the bazillion dollar question. Why? Why do this? Why subject yourself to this sort of humiliation. No matter who you are or what you look like or where you are at in life, you deserve to be with someone who likes you. Why do women get SO hung up on the guy who doesn’t want you?

And not just him, but the one who humiliated you and probably made fun of you in public (see previous post).

Women will underpay their hand when it comes to relationship. I mean think about it. How often do you see an attractive woman with a not so attractive man, then how often do you see the reverse? Women will sell out when it comes to relationships and go for the guy who is horrible to them or generally just beneath them. However, what is unthinkable is that she will pursue him relentlessly if he dump her.

Generally stalking is not just an ugly pastime, it’s also illegal in most countries. It is unhealthy and damaging to all concerned. And yet, women do it. And far more often than we like to think.

In romance novels the women are adored by men who are always deserving and often just a little obsessive, without being ugly or possessive. When men are ike this, women finally feel secure and able to get on with their day. And that is another reason women like romance novels so much.



Because women will attack other women in order to get in good with men

If the battle of the sexes could be easily reduced to men versus women, the ‘issues’ would be a lot simpler.  However, the entire conversation is far more complex than that. For example, a very dear friend of mine (lets call him Ed) is one of the strongest supporters of women I have ever known. I should also ad my wonderful husband in that list, as men who rarely if ever feel threatened by powerful women. I do think the world is making more and more of these men.

If these men exist, then so do the women who are profiting from misogyny. And I do not just mean yummy mummies and soccer mums spending their days in cappuccino bars or spending hubby’s money while the kids are at school. I am talking about the women who put women down, by speaking about them the way that men speak about them.

There are women who do this formally – journalists who get ahead by knocking feminists and other outspoken women in the media, or write books as apologists for me. Then there are other women, less overt, who use what they know very well to be dubious means in order to get ahead. These women are often found in male dominated areas, or traditional male dominated areas such as business, scientific research or as a part of large institutions. They will be happily sacrificing family while other women try to fight for more family time, or researching out dated theories because they can get funding easier, or laughing at colleagues wives when the men bitch about them at work.

The point I am trying to make here, is that women are just as guilty of keeping men and women from understanding each other, and acting responsibly together to gain what an individual needs for life. Women will actively get in the way of this process, even if it doe not serve them in the long run, for short term gain.

In romance novels the only women who are your enemy is the horrible one who is going to ‘get it’ in the end and who never ever gets the cool guy! Women love and support each other and everyone wants to see everyone else happy, fulfilled and in love with the right person.


Because women invent new names for their errors to get out of them

washing machine 2

‘Tis divine to err against humans

One of the advantages to making a mistake is that it is only likely to be picked up by another human.  This means when another human finds out you’ve made an error, you can simply say ‘no I didn’t.’

Women have become quite adept at getting through this. Individually, their mistakes are usually noticed by their own children so it is easy to explain them away to kids. If they make them in front of their husband, they can claim that he doesn’t really love her, that he loves to point out her mistakes or that she has an alternate perspective.

This last one is how woman, on the universal level, is letting everyone know that she isn’t really making mistakes at all. The standard by which we judge anything, you see, is taken from the male perspective, which ultimately means, no standard set up can judge a woman.

While this may be true, it does get used by women (and some men) to allow for inactivity or general cruelty. When a woman is cruel, she is oppressed and lashing out, and when a woman is inactive, she is bored and been pushed hard into a life she had no control in setting up.

Women and some men (they used to be called sensitive new age guys) will use women’s tricks to get away with a multitude of ‘sins’ by ‘explaining’ things in these ways. Tables are turned, ideas are read backward and in the end an accomplishment turns out to be simply getting through the day.

In romance novels the women have lived up to great accomplishments – even by traditional male standards. While they are women, they are still able to achieve at a level that anyone can tell is a success and at the same time retain their femininity. No wonder so many women love them so much.


Because every woman thinks she is Carrie Bradshaw

so many new things

You have to understand. Sex and the city is not just a show. It’s a validation. And no one wants a validation more than women.

Even if a woman is overweight, poor, tired, married to her overweight childhood sweetheart, living in the smallest most insignificant town that ever graced the face of the earth, attending a meaningless job every day, or never owned a pair of shoes in her life, she is Carrie Bradshaw.

It’s because Carrie Bradshaw exemplifies all that women want to be.

She’s not perfectly beautiful but she has a “certain something” that sets her apart from all other women; her up to the minute designer labels were found for fifty cents in a vintage clothing store; her job is talking about relationships with her friends; her friends are all archetypes and fit neatly into categories that she is consistently superior to; and spending all day in deep introspection is the height of intellectual activity.

Carrie Bradshaw is the ideal woman – To women. She represents the way women wish the world was.

She is rescued by men financially all the time, but she “deserves” it because she’s spun herself into an emotional web that took expensive therapy to extricate herself from – none of which is her fault and which corresponds to the work it takes to set up a successful business or work hard at a job and become good enough to rise through the ranks. She’s earn’t the money she received, no question about it.

Women read romance novels in search of Carrie Bradshaw, to escape Carrie Bradshaw but most of all because they are Carrie Bradshaw and they deserve the time out.


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