Posts Tagged 'humour'

Because women set up fake profile personas to stalk ex’s on Facebook

Ok.. now this is another one of those posts where the men do it to. However, men have such short attention spans that they’ll give up fairly quick. They may come back and haunt you some time in the future, but stalk you for months – they just don’t have the committment to such petty projects.

However women will.

And oh, they will do it for months – even years. I have a friend (don’t we all???) who was on FB and of course some woman friended her and it turned out to be the mother of her husbands child about which she knew nothing. I think just about everyone has a story like this, or they know someone who knows someone who does.

if the woman can’t set up her fake profile to stalk the guy, she will get a friend to do it for her.

So here is the bazillion dollar question. Why? Why do this? Why subject yourself to this sort of humiliation. No matter who you are or what you look like or where you are at in life, you deserve to be with someone who likes you. Why do women get SO hung up on the guy who doesn’t want you?

And not just him, but the one who humiliated you and probably made fun of you in public (see previous post).

Women will underpay their hand when it comes to relationship. I mean think about it. How often do you see an attractive woman with a not so attractive man, then how often do you see the reverse? Women will sell out when it comes to relationships and go for the guy who is horrible to them or generally just beneath them. However, what is unthinkable is that she will pursue him relentlessly if he dump her.

Generally stalking is not just an ugly pastime, it’s also illegal in most countries. It is unhealthy and damaging to all concerned. And yet, women do it. And far more often than we like to think.

In romance novels the women are adored by men who are always deserving and often just a little obsessive, without being ugly or possessive. When men are ike this, women finally feel secure and able to get on with their day. And that is another reason women like romance novels so much.

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Because women will use pregnancy to get a man

I would love to say this is never true. I would love to say women would never sink this low. I would love to say women are aware that they don’t need men enough to never do this. I would love to say women have too much self-respect to trap another human being like this.

But it isn’t true.

Women will do this.

I have seen it on a number of occasions – hey its even been a joke on Sex and the City. Women will use pregnancy to get a man and I can’t think of a worse reason to have a child except maybe boredom.

Part of wanting to have power over their own bodies and reproductive rights is responsibilities around when and how to have children. If women really want control over their own reproductive capabilities, they have to acknowledge how much power they have in the world and they have to use it responsibly.

Just have men have had to learn to be responsible with physical strength and have learnt to curb it and channel it, so women have to learn how to handle reproductive strength.

To use a baby to catch a man makes no sense.

It creates and fosters resentment against you and against the child.

It is an inappropriate use of power.

Women really have to wake up about this one, and just as they don’t ever want a man to make them pregnant against their will, so they must not deliberately make a man a father just to use social responsibility to catch him.

IN romance novels this just never, ever happens. Women are responsible human beings who have babies in partnership with men who love them. They simply NEVER get pregnant deliberately to catch the guy.

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Because men don’t understand why a woman asks for advice and then won’t take it

‘She’ll ask for your advice

Your reply will be concise

She’ll listen very nicely

Then go out and do precisely what she wants’

Henry Higgins – My Fair lady

Asking for advice is just that. Asking for advice.

It always seems to astonish men when women ask for advice and then do something different. This is primarily because men don’t know what asking for advice is. They see it as a weakness, assuming everyone should be born knowing everything already. When it comes to advice they never ask for it, nor do they take it.

So it comes as a delight when a woman does ask for advice, because they have a chance to 1) impart their genius (which they love) and 2) give her direction (which they also love).

But it isn’t like that for women. Women ask for advice because they are weighing things up. And here is a scary thing to know. Often, they don’t actually want nor need the advice. They are really summing you up over a certain issue. So for men, when a woman asks for some information, they assume she doesn’t know something and wants to learn. But for a woman, it’s a chance to see the other person.

Deep inside every man is a belief that he is a genius (we have seen this before) so it is perfectly natural that everyone who knows them should ask for their advice. It makes sense in the way they see the world. It’s not in the asking they are surprised. It is in the mulling over his advice, the weighing it up against other advice you’ve collected and then, if it isn’t the best advice received, rejecting it. This is what men can’t get their heads around.

Which leads me to another point. Men will very often happily give advice on topics they know nothing about. Because no matter how little they know, they will be absolutely sure of one thing: they know more than their woman does on the subject.

In romance novels women do ask for advice and they do take it or they don’t take it depending on the quality of the advice, and men simply say they don’t really know if they don’t. It is all clear and it is all simple. The people who give bad advice in romance novels are villains, and the baddies always get theirs in the end.

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Because men want to muscle in on their wife or partners success

“She’ll ask for your advice, which will be most concise

She’ll listen very nicely, and go out and do precisely what she wants.”

Henry Higgins

My Fair lady

One of the best ways to get your monosyllabic husband to start talking to you, is to have a minor success.

Besides a Policeman on point duty or a bouncer at a nightclub, you will rarely see the god complex and misogyny combine and rise to the surface as fast as when a man here’s about something that happened in his woman’s day that impresses him.

Suddenly, he’s an expert in whatever it was that you did well, he’s your coach, your mentor and captain of the ship. But it has to be something that impresses him.

Come home with news of a promotion, a success in a minor sporting event, a pay rise or heaven forbid if you get some sort of media attention, and he’s all over you like a rash with the advice. And it’s not just advice. These gold nuggets are delivered with command and force. He co-opts your success instantly so that it becomes his.  The idea is,  as fast as possible, he wants to be seen as the one who created it all behind the scenes.

Think of women singers and athletes in particular and I bet you can cite at least three examples of women marrying and then he “manages” her career. Can you name one instant in the reverse? Can you imagine a man having a huge success and coming home and taking advice on how to manage it from here on from his wife? I think not. (That day is devoted to the start of a battle between success and home that usually ends in divorce)

It all comes down to power and control. Success in our culture means power. As soon as a woman as some success, the man knows very well the lens that will be placed over the way she views him unless he makes himself indispensible and/ or finds a short cut to being better than her again as fast as he can. How does he know this? He knows because of the way he views her in his life.

In romance novels women never have to worry about men being threatened by their success in any way. Usually their men have so much of their own success that the better their woman does in the most independent way reflects strongly on them. However, occasionally they are not as successful as her and they just relish the fact that a cultured, successful talented woman wants to be with them.

Because men think objectifying a woman is natural

I often read, while I am wandering around blog land, men complain that “they are allowed to look at beautiful paintings, why aren’t they allowed to look at beautiful women?”Or “women just don’t understand that men look. It is who we are. They are not like us so they can’t understand.” Or a personal favorite of mine; “Ï can’t take my eyes out of my head, you’ll just have to accept that this is how men are.”

Now there is looking, and then there is objectifying. I simply do not believe that men don’t know the difference. They certainly have absolutely NO problem getting upset when their women “look”at men in a certain way, so they must have some idea about the difference. They can build bridges; get to the moon and back, and understand quantum theory. Am I really supposed to believe that they just can’t tell the difference between noticing something and objectifying it?

When you look at a painting, you don’t think, “how do I get that painting to look back and me and notice me looking at it.”  When you look at a beautiful tree, you don’t think “how can I have sex with that tree without my partner knowing about it.” When you look at a beautiful church, you do not love the way your dick is stirring in response to it.

It is NOT the same thing, and we know it isn’t the same thing. So please, stop carrying on like it is the same thing.

Your woman was seduced by you. I will let you in on a secret. SHE KNOWS YOUR TRICKS!  Therefore she can tell when you are admiring something as if it were an abstractly beautiful thing that you admire (flower) or a hot piece of ass you want to get closer to. She can tell.  Please stop telling her she is a bitch for not wanting you to openly seduce other women in front of her. And please stop telling her you can’t help it. She KOWS you can… because you DID stop doing it in those glorious early days (remember them) and she knows you can stop when you are committed and fulfilled. If you are not happy and you need other women, leave her and go enjoy them. Or if you are happy with her, then grow up and get your self esteem taken care of some way that is less destructive to what you really want.

In romance novels men just never ever ogle other women when they are happy with their partner. It just never happens.

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Because men are afraid of women

I know what you’re going to say. Men can’t be afraid of women. Not the way they hit them, abuse them, ridicule them in public, attack them in dark alleys, stalk them, cover them head to toe in black cloth, forbid them to leave the house, refuse them access to education, reduce their role to reproduction, legislate to control their bodies, insist women live to attach themselves to men, belittle tem and generally all round make fun of them and their ideas twenty four seven.

That’s not the sign of someone who is afraid of someone else. Is it?

I know that not all men treat women this way.

What is not known, is that the guy who treats women well, who thinks about who she is, who cares about her opinions and doesn’t feel the need to belittle her in order to advance his own ego, is actually the only one who is not afraid of women.

And this guy (who I’m sure is the man reading this blog right now) is one of the vey very few, are, real men.

The “mucho dude” or “spiritual man” who needs to do all things that were stated in the opening paragraph – or even needs to do one of the things in the opening paragraph – is afraid of women.

The more machismo a man shows, the more intense and deep his fear of women.

And where does this fear come from?

It is a deep pathological fear that he is unnecessary. We’ll deal with this more in future posts, but for the most part, men fear that they are not essential. Why? Because they can’t make babies. They can make sperm – but let’s face it. Each man can make millions and millions of sperm. It’s the cheapest liquid on the planet. This then means that far fewer men are actually required for the perpetuation of the species.

The minute women figure this out – men fear they are doomed. At least, that is what these men are so worried about.

As I said, the world is changing and not all men are like this anymore. Some men are not even like this some of the time. Many men these days have the courage to embrace what makes them scared and learn about themselves.

In romance novels the men are never ever afraid of women. This mirrors certain men in RL who do exist- thank you evolution!! However when women paint the picture, they make sure that no men and their wonderful masculinity are threatened by anything that women might do or not do. The men here are real men who are not threatened by the actualization of woman.

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Because women go back to bad relationships

I’m not talking here about the women that go back to men who beat them when they share children. That is a whole other pathology; that is one of mutual pain and suffering.

I am talking here about the women who break up with their boyfriend who, for example cheated, or abused her in front of her friends, or generally treated her like crap.

When you break up with someone, there is an intimacy that has been broken. It is over. There is a crushing moment of realization that can last for hours or days. This is a feeling that must be endured, because you were intimate with that person. Even if they don’t admit it, or say it isn’t happening to them as well, they are going through it, and it is an inevitable aspect of separation.

As I said above, this moment must be endured. This is the moment you are most likely to get the phone all, the invite to the pub for a drink. Please understand ladies, that what you are doing here is going back to the man who cheated on you or who treated you like crap. Just because he is being nice to you in the pub where you’re meeting, does not mean he has changed. In fact, it is far more likely that if he is attracted to you in any way, he definitely has not changed, because the two of you were mutually playing off a problem you both have and will when you get together in the future.

You need a fresh man. That is called growth and moving forward, Not the same guy with a new (or worse old) set of promises that he has given up his wild ways.

Please, please, please prepare for the moment of separation anxiety. Plan to go out with friends, go away for a holiday in Paris (this is when your fuck you money is so important) or just force yourself to busy yourself out of the place that he has put you that is no good for you.

This is one of the most essential things that women can learn. How to leave a man properly who is bad for them. Do you know what the BEST thing about the powerful breakup is? You are very unlikely to repeat the mistake.

In romance novels there is simply no such thing as a breakup unless the guy is bad, and then the women will mull and be sad, but they will move on as soon as knight in shining armor shows up. Happy ever after is the creed of erotic romance novels and women just don’t have to worry about ugly things like bad breakups.


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